Failure or Liberty

Failure is a construct of the mind.  How do you feel about that? 

No...I did not say think about it....I said FEEL!

Most of you would have gone into your head to consider and think about the statement to agree or disagree. It is the modern human response to think rather feel the truth in your heart..

So what am I about?  Bare with me a little in my ramblings...

Recently I have been on my own little journey of experiencing life.   You could say that I have been taking a little holiday from being an active Medium as I have been thrust into the full physical human experience, body, spirit and soul. It has been a challenging time. I can only compare it to being chucked into freezing cold water and where all you can deal with is just coping with the shock and chill that is going on in that single moment.

In all of that it had seemed to me that Spirit had gone on vacation themselves and whilst I had never truly believed that they had gone away, they had been noticeably a little bit on the quite side from the constant channelling of information I am used to.  Sunseeker holiday spots in the Spirit world or not,  I realised though when I look back, that they had been knocking on my door every now and again to check in where I was at, often with a great big sledge hammer.  Me in my blissful ignorance hadnt been listening.   I was living too much human and, during that time, tuned myself out of the spirtworld.

So with recognition that I haven't been firing on all cylinders, over the past year I have occasionally grabbed at my wonky psychic tuner with renewed vigor, and would every now and again land on Spirit Radio One. Whilst receiving loud and clear the odd bit of information in still pictures and symbols, it was with the consistency of a dripping tap. Previously I had enjoyed receiving Spirit in a what would be a tricolour movie download supported by surround sound and smellivision. Now I had been relegated to what seemed like a version of charads and pictionary rolled into one.  Feeling somewhat lost like a ship without its navigation, I panicked.  Something had punched my psychic headlights out.

The human mind has its own special way of working - it is an amazing computer that's prime objective is to keep you alive and safe however irrational it may be. Therefore, when you suddenly believe you are lost....then this is a direct instruction to your sub conscious that gives it the licence to panic- and your computer kicks in to "safe mode" and every single thought after that becomes about survival through that moment.

Unfortunately my moment was two years long.

So what has this all got to do about failure and mediumship?

As mediums we rely so much on our senses – it is the natural side of us that has allowed us to go though life intuitively and sailing on the sea of life with some comfort and confidence that we don’t always appreciated how much we are supported by the spirit world in those times of challenge.   When many of us are truly spiritually awakened, it is like being plugged into consciousness energy and so what we once did automatically can suddenly become a bumpy ride.  

Why? As instead of still feeling our way, we have started thinking our way conciously due to our heightened awareness.  Developing as a medium is a human experience as well as a spiritual experience, it is the two worlds blending together  - the light unconditional love of spirit with the heavy physical reality and challenge of human existence.   As we touch base with our souls true home when we connect with spirit, nostalgia, homesick and sadness can envelope us as the feeling of what so much the human world is devoid of, love, acceptance, approval, safety makes many spiritual workers just want to exist in the energy of spirit.  

I know some of my good friends in the business may challenge me on this concept but many spiritual workers believe their sole purpose for living is to heal and/or pass on the message of spirit to those on the earth plane.  Why when spirit can quite happily work without us..and do? They are the superior beings and do not work to our limitations. We are the ones confined to our physical bodies. Why do all spiritual workers seem to have to work through human challengings if their only purpose is to be messenger for spirit? 

Even the best mediums have their view - but a point to consider is that the human ego works in many ways to justify our human existence and to reassure our reasons for living - and us spiritual workers are no different. We think therefore we are. Our thoughts leading our existence through our whole human experience.  This includes straightforward human fears but also an added spiritual worker one, the fear of losing our connection to spirit.

As a Newby in our development circles..we can all remember our doubts and our wonky messages.  Our fear that we may get it wrong..and that Spirit would leave us as not worthy of them working with us. As we grow as spiritual workers we learn and know that Spirit do not leave us. They are always there with love.  As we become more certain of our connection to spirit we can often forget to embrace the experience of living. We can so allow ourselves to be totally living with spirit that we find it too hard to live in the physical.  How often do we wonder at our challenges, and our momentary lapse of reason, as we struggle with human kind?  We are appalled at what the human race are doing to itself, the wars, cruety, the lack of kindness and love.   Often our medium minds prefer not to be part of this.  The human ego in us steps up to have a field day...but often spirit workers struggle to connect it to being part of human life as if our connection to the spirit world exempts us.

We are just as human as the next human, and our thoughts undermine us as spirit workers just as much as anyone who isnt working with Spirit.   Just think if we can let go of those occasional moments of fear of failure when we are up there working for Spirit and being totally pure channels.

So, here I am - lost in my ego, struggling with all sorts of fear when someone suggests the following to me....

What about the possibility that we entered this life to experience life, to develop our knowledge through the physical experience. Every human making the agreement before they stepped into the birth stream to enter into a individual designed experience of birth..living and death?   This birth, this life, and our future dying experience is our ownly purpose as to why we are here, and all we need to embrace and engage with.

Is it possible that, us Spirit Workers have just chosen the experience to be only partially emersed in the human experience and retain our connection to spirit to enhance this life experience?

So taking that thought further...

So if our purpose here is to only experience being born, life, and our dying where would you fail?  To experience life in any way is experiencing life.  So many people use the word “trying” – I am trying to do this, I am trying to do that, when their mind is tied up in the destination of their journey and in the fear of failure and not being successful at what they do.

How about believing that you are successful in all that you do, whatever it is? 

When we live in our head, allow our thoughts to dictate how we are, how we exist, the boundaries that it creates to keep our selves surviving the physical moment.   Fear stops us and restricts us because we believe our purpose is to follow a specific course of action.   When that course of action doesnt follow the route we think it should have, we then make a judgement on what we are experiencing, often labeling it wrong.

It is all a construct of the human mind controlling us, managing our experience to keep us safe in the experience.  You then, however, live every potential experience through your mind, and then tuneout of "feeling" your existence.

I am sure you can go back in your mind to a moment in the past where you still carry the emotional scars and still, when you go into a similar situation, you are reminded of the past experience, and can feel a heaviness in your heart challenging you about the situation. Your body acts as barometer telling you how you physically feel, specifically the heart. Tightness..constriction, pain anywhere or the subtle heavy feeling in your heart are all tell tale signs of your body telling you there is an emotion being held in your body and it is having an effect on your body..and subsequently your life experience.

Did you know you didn’t need to carry it around with you? Did you know that emotion is energy in motion and that it's nature is to move and not stand still?

Every emotion held is a mini volcano waiting to burst. Tears, or its softer parents sadness, anguish, like laughter is not meant to be held in. Why can we allow laughter to bubble so freely where our pain we hold on as if it is a treasured possession?

It is only because that for our spirit/soul selves joy is our natural state of being. So we allow the lightness of joy and positive feelings  to move naturally, where negative feelings are so uncomfortable that if we allow it to exist we feel it will grow into some horrible monster child that we cannot control.  The truth is, like every child which is screaming for attention, it is only needing to be acknowledged. 

Failure is a construct made in our modern society where our senses are battered with confusing and conflicting information, where wrong or right is the measurements of blame.  The universal law of polarity exists in all that we do and where the positive element exists so does the negative in equal measure,  there is no up without down or top with out bottom. It is always a matter of perspective.

So imagine it for a moment. I am calmly trying to tell myself all is well with my mediumship and shoving my anxiety down into my chest as if cramming a suitcase full of clothes to bursting point and attempting to squeeze it tightly shut. Meanwhile my sub concious is running around like Corporal Jones from Dad's Army yelling "don't panic, dont panic". The swelling fear inside me grabbs my heart as mind babble of every possible consequence runs a muck in my mind defining my next experience.

So what's this to do with being a medium?

Despite all of our connectivness, spiritual awareness and knowledge, we are living our human experience first. We may have chosen to do it as facilitators for spirit but we are not exempt from the human living experience itself. So even through the experience of mediumship and being a Spirit Worker we are going to get locked into our thoughts of failure, or believing we are here to get to a destination.

There is nothing wrong in being a dedicated medium.. Indeed the new spiritual revolution is being greeted by our spirit family's with excitement as the earth and spirit realms are drawing closer. More contact and connections are going to be able to allow the human race to evolve further to create a more connected experience. However many mediums see that their lives is only one of service..their experience being outside of them. 

I am recently reminded of the young man Stephen Sutton, who inspired the world with his battle with cancer and aged 19 passed to the spirit world. Before he left this life he didn't allow his illness to dictate to him and stop him embracing his full life experience. Indeed armed with a bucket list he set about grabbing life and packed his life with things he wanted to do, inspiring many along the way.  He lived life to the full in a short time which many do not engage in. Perhaps it was because he had nothing more to loose, nothing to risk and all to gain, and all he had left was to make the rest of his life experience as good as he could make it.

What if really it can be like that for everyone? That if we stop looking at the destination, the results, tomorrow, achievement, perfection, outcome, or fear of our last breath?

How about success is embracing every experience with acceptance and joy with the knowledge that it is as it is. Allow our heart to be the barometer to choose rather than our mind managed by our subconscious surrounded by all the fears of human living.

Failure is a human invention created from the judgment of right or wrong. If no experience, negative or positive, that you have walked into is wrong as it is just as it is in that moment. Why would you have failed?   You are in that experience because you are supposed to be - not as any wrong doing but the direction you choose to go. It is just like driving into a deadend..you may have not seen or ignored the sign telling you where you were going. You are there and the next step is to drive out to the next step of your journey if you decide it's not where you prefer to be. It doesn't change that you experienced steps of driving or seeing places you hadn't planned to go through. 

What we might choose to experience at a soul level indeed is a challenging thought to any human mind, but again it is a matter of perspective - our's is limited by the veil of not knowing or being able to see the big picture we may appreciate back home in Spirit.  

As Spirit Workers we believe we are infinite beings - and our lives, however long, is a drop in the ocean of the divine source, lived through the potential of many lives or multi dimensional experiences. Science has started to agree with much of our spiritual concepts through further exploration of quantum physics and that our universe operates to natural laws: Vibration, Relativity, Cause and Effect, Polarity, Rhythm, Gestation and Transmutation....some would argue that there are upto 12 that operates.  Much of our human brothers and sisters are not aware of any science in any form, just that they live and are only aware of their human experience. Those of a spiritual nature know that we are spirit living a human experience.

So instead of concentrating on trying to be successful. Congratulate yourself on being successful. How about the thought of just choosing the experience that you wish to be successful in, and letting go of all those past emotions where you feel that you failed or took a wrong turn?

So consider for a moment...the feeling of liberation that your heart feels about never being a failure in anything, and carrying on being the successful person that you already are.

Today I am who I am

Some of my regular blog readers may feel that I am against some of the love and light brigade or certain spiritual groups or of those who are being the arch typical spiritual person.  

Quite to the contrary.  It is good for anyone to hold to the affirmation “today I am who I am”.

The hot bed of spiritualism is thriving amongst our communities and indeed is having their own “coming” out of the closet like a dominant gay queen stepping out in Canal Street in Manchester, loud and clear and ensuring everyone knows they are there.  Anyone who is amongst like-minded people tends to grow in confidence and feel encouraged as they recognise that there are similar people to them out there.  There is, however, like in gay society, and in every society, the catty backbiting competitive crowd who stirs up the party, and some who just follow the crowd as it is safer being on the inside than the outside.

The strong “love and light” outlook, with the odd swing of colourful garments, that marks many spiritualists is just a way of them trying to show that they are dedicated to their spiritual belief and enjoying being who they are with passion and intent, and it is the same amongst Wiccan and pagan groups.  It is normal to want to fit in, and even like the young generation in trends and fashion, the “in” crowd lead the way as to what is going to be acceptable – or not.  Natural instinct is there to protect us all and, the human as an animal, is much like any other herd animal and attempts to stay with the herd to ensure its safety, and look and act much like the rest of its brothers and sisters.  The one on the outside or looking different is the one more likely to be identified by predators lurking hungrily around the edge.

As you work with Spirit, and learn to understand how they work, you will be taken through many experiences to assist you in your knowledge and development.  Spiritualism has though, become a religion with many at the helm applying human nature to control, manage and apply rules to how modern spiritualism exists within society.   You can give a thousand points to them for being passionate and wishing Spiritualism to thrive compared to the old days when we were all drowned and hung as witches or eternally fired for being a heretic and practicing our belief – the good old days of living in the closet.   Many good things have been done to aid modern Spiritualism but a fundamental thought seems to have been somewhat forgotten.   Being spiritual is a way of being, it is not a religion. It is an unfoldment, a realisation, an epiphany, and experience all rolled into one.  Everyones’ personal journey is not totally the same, and is theirs to claim alone.  The age old human thing of trying to reinvent the wheel, where ego and insanity takes over what needs not to be a manufactured way of being with dogma and dictators influencing who you are and how you should be.

Spiritualism has grown organically from the closet days, where devoted spiritual pioneers sat in circle learning and working with spirit and allowing them to grow in their knowledge and wisdom.  With the dawning of the internet and a more accepting society, we now have big schools, workshops, churches, spiritual centres with the traditionalists and the new all trying to spread their wings and bring to the world modern spiritualism.  It is truly wonderful that we can now share our spiritual awakening and as to how we feel about it and who we are.  But with the labelling of a religion and being part of a specific society, new rules come in as to how we should behave and think and how we should practice in being “spiritual” people.  Someone somewhere originally had a great idea to do good, to further the way forward and a little group got together to influence the way – and bang everyone is on the wagon and the generalist guide “how to be spiritual” is born.  Our version of the bible has arrived in all its glory, and not a second coming messiah in sight.

Some rules are good – the Seven principles are a good standing point for anyone with a spiritual belief.  I won’t discuss these in detail as they are easily found, and appreciated by any person wishing to understand spiritualism.  But every religion has started with a seed and its flower been admired and beheld, to only be torn up by the root and put in a greenhouse and given a label as to how best it is grown and propagated.

Like any wild flower it grew well enough on its own without help.

Human history and today’s multicultural society still shows that most religions end up with humans fighting against humans whether it’s by word or by sword.  Whatever it is, it is still a sad day for mankind and spirit alike.  Is it what we truly want for our spiritual legacy?  Personally, I don’t think so, but somehow I am not sure those who are waving our banner will be listening to me.  For me it is straightforward, Spirit is always there with their blazing light of love and it’s us humans which play the hokey cokey with the dark.

It is true; there are some people out there who do need human guidance.  A spiritual awakening is a confusing place to be at times, especially if you have great Aunt Mabel or even Angel Gabriel materialising at the breakfast table for a chat unexpectedly. It’s enough for anyone to suddenly choke on their Cheerio’s.  

What we see and what we think about spirit can be overwhelming, and our minds can run around like an abandoned chicken on a motorway dancing in front of dazzling headlights.  In our need to gain knowledge, we do need to understand that there are many ways of thinking, many different experiences.  Specifically if we are going to tune into the spiritual realm and invite strange spirits for a bit of a natter because we have their loved one sitting in front of us, is not about having a duty of care and abiding by the law, but caring about a fellow human. We do need to appreciate that there is a way to deliver the fantastic news that little Jonny isn’t going to be in pain anymore and will be shortly journeying back home to the Spirit world on a one way ticket. It is not about wielding a new found power, believing that as you have an insight to someone else’s life and they have given you money to give that insight, does not mean that you have acquired the god given right to destroy or ruin it by the “truthful” words you are blessed to give from the spirit world.    Too many times I have heard how a message has been given to an unsuspecting happy client, and the next minute they are lost feeling their lives are in tatters due to a message given thoughtlessly and without care about its effects. 

Spirit is indeed loving, but there are so many mediums who are untrained, not in tune, and misinterpret their communication with Spirit. Evidence is all about having “a lovely lady with grey hair, your grandmother, who gives you her love”, rather than the real evidence of the lady you knew who sat and watched the wombles with you and fed you peanut jelly sandwiches.  If you have the privilege of having someone sitting waiting for your words and that what you are giving or feeling matters more than what the person sitting in front of you is feeling or receiving – then check you are hearing spirit.  It is likely they are jumping up and down in front of you trying to get you to hear them.

That being said, we are human and spirit sharing a journey together and as human’s we are dominated by our fears and our doubts.   It is safer to be in a group when you are first developing. There are many excellent teachers out there who are every so willing to share their experiences and wisdom for free and even more so if you wave a score note around like a red flag to a bull in the right place. It is not wrong to earn money from teaching spiritual matters, but often where money becomes the main motivation, what you get in return can lose its soul. 

The point is though....if you are working with Spirit, truly working with Spirit, you shouldn’t need to be told.  Spirit will guide you.    It is good to find out different views, and experiment with new ways of working, traditional ways and different modern spiritual thinking.  You can be angelic, Buddhist, ascended masters, seventh heaven, ghost buster or mystic meg  – it is a case of learning to be a apple, then a pear, then a banana – or just being a fruit basket like me!  It is not wrong, it is just the way you are evolving and learning.  You do not have to trash what you first thought or the knowledge you first acquired, you just have developed it and decided what is right at that time for you.  You are all that you are because of everything you have ever done, not just because of one single moment.

Sometimes I may sound somewhat cynical about some Spiritual things.   It is not that I am truly trying to put down – it is a case of every man for himself.   It is ok to follow the crowd, it is ok to wear rainbow outfits and have crystal chandeliers as earrings.....I have done it.  So do still do it occasionally.  They are so beautiful!  I do it not as a uniform, but as an expression of me.

I have a lovely knowledgable friend called Jay, who the other day came to circle wonderfully wearing beautiful orange and colourful Indian garments in celebration of Ganesha, one of her favourite Hindu deities. It was his birthday and, because she resonated with him, felt it was a way to honour him by dressing herself in colours she believed he would appreciate. Other days Jay will be just Jay, another day she will come in wearing outfits which make her resemble a little native Indian squaw.  She is not trying to be something, she is just being Jay – comfortable and enjoying being aspects of herself.

The point is that is what spiritualism is truly about, being who you are, as a spirit.  Your guides and your spirit family know you inside out.  They have known you for eternity; you do not need to be something you are not.   They will help you find who you are inside, and if you feel for a moment that you should dress like someone else, they will happily not say a word, as they want you to benefit from the experience of adopting a persona which makes you feel that you can be confident and bring out the innerspirt, the true you.  It is your human experience and for you to decide what is right for you.

You do not need me, or anyone, to criticise or to tell you are wrong in your way or thinking, or living or to tell you how to be or what to believe...and if they do, then do wonder about what it tells you about them...or even you.  If you feel it is right to be there, then that is where you should be.   It is all about synchronicity at the end of the day.  Allowing the universe to conspire to help you develop who you are, and it is all so amazing how it comes together to bring the like-minded friends, the daring of being something different than you may have been before.  You may allow them all to influence to you, wear the same outfits to fit in, be draped in crystals, use the same Tarot cards, go to all the workshops and circles to feel acceptance or part of something bigger than yourself. Even read a blog to look for insight.  It won’t always be that way, as like most people you will grow in confidence and being and enjoying who you are will become who you are.   

You may one day feel that you don’t need to know it all, don’t need to be like others, don’t need to wear a “spiritual” uniform to fit in, not needing to acquire knowledge or being part of something bigger. You will just be you in the way you want to express yourself and be comfortable in saying that.

I have found it is good to say...

”today I am who I am”.

Inspiration - tapping into the universe

How do you feel when you are inspired...to write, to draw, to sings, to create?
Did you know  you were tapping into the universal energy?

Since the days I learnt that I could put pen to paper I have always written.  Poetry, short story's, articles...even my own version of mills and boon.  My eleven year old version of a steamy romance, which was possibly the biblical version of fifty shades of grey, still kept school mates gasping for the next edition. Although it was immaturely and naively written, it captured me and my friends. I would hungrily sit for hours writing in a school exercise book, churning chapter after chapter out - without a typewriter or a computer in sight, and no hope of a publisher. but my audience loved it.    For me it was a way of expressing myself and putting my thoughts in order, and had started mainly for my own enjoyment.   At that point I was writing because it tumbled out of me spurred on by emotional responses to the world around me. I didn't know that i was slowly tapping into something bigger than me.

I look back at my earlier writing and see my childhood and my teenager angst... the woes and the joys, and see the glimpses of the person I was becoming, and growing to be. Although I did not put words to my spiritual awareness at that time, the inate awareness of being connected to some thing larger than myself was huge and quietly sat as a back bone in practically everything I wrote.  Now I see so much more and the skills I was honing.

So why talk about inspiration now?  Those who are connected to my Facebook are used to my weird statuses, the moments when I suddenly  have the urge for words to fall out of my head and I put up something reflective and, to some, diatribe about life. Some of my Facebook friends may have hidden my statuses because suddenly I am sprouting weird stuff, others though put messages of resonation, and in that moment i know that i have done the job I was supposed to do, even if I look at my status myself and think bloody hell what are you on girl!

It is inspiration. But when you feel that energy and allow that energy to flow, something happens deep inside you, and you then open up to the same energy that created this world...and if you think it in a wider context, the universe...and the divine energy of creation.

Yep god was clearly having an inspirational moment when he created me, let alone the world, and the universe!

The beauty about inspiration is that you don't need to put a religion on it or connect it to him upstairs, God, Allah, or any of his other personalities.  You only have to accept that it's there and that you can do wonderful things with it.  When we create we are connecting to something which communicates back at us, feeds our soul, rewards us with something physically we can see, and bring to life.  We are all mini gods and by using this energy we create our world and our universe.

But okay, according to my Talent Dynamics profile I am a creator, and have dynamo energy, and have my head in the clouds, and inspiration is natural to me. But that is a natural choice for me, but everyone can be inspired, but in their own way.

The other day I was attending a meeting, and as a medium who is now used to opening and connecting to the energy around me. I was listening to a medium give a message and then  suddenly words started jumping in my head that surprised me as it was such a different format than I was used to. As they spun round like a miniature sand storm in my head, I had to immediately write them the moment the meeting ended. My dear friend waiting patiently as I urgently and frantically wrote in his car on my phone, and straight on to Facebook..

"...And the child flew merrily with out fear cross the sky. The adult watched in awe and wonder and said I wish I could do that.The child stopped surprised, but you taught me, did you forget how to fly? The adult remembered for a moment. I grew up, and stopped living intuitively where conformity became my cage. My wings got weighed down by the sadness of not flying. The child said, follow me as I can fly! ... "

When I eventually read what I wrote, I thought crikey who have i tapped into...Peter Pan? Tinkerbell?  Wendy.  The comments I got clearly stirred something within the readers. Whilst I thought it an unusual status. some thought it beautiful.

As my husband would say, you've been busy haven't you...but for me I am used to it, know that something more is at work and that I write now just for more just me. Even though I still feel like Alice in wonderland when I eventually see what I have written, I know, especially now after the above, that I only just have to connect and something amazing will happen.

I am sure everyone has their thoughts to what is occurring, but it does not matter what I am connecting to whether it is my head, my higherself, my ego, a guide,  wordsworth,  Tinkerbell, universal energy,  or even god. Along as it is good, as long as I have the good honest intention when I allow myself to become inspired, something amazing may happen. I now recognise that energy and allow it to happen, without fear, I open myself up to the inspiration whether it is triggered by a beautiful sunset, a piece of music, a person, a story or a feeling...and allows  the answer from the universe to flow.

I am not special, or particularly gifted.  Inspiration is something we all have...all capable of allowing for ourselves.

As in the words written above, and as I did too as a child,  children are inspired so naturally where many adults forget, but still encourage their children to be inspired. So looks to your children, look to you as a child. What inspires you?

So come and join me in the clouds...
Allow yourself to fly and connect to the energy of the universe.