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Sunday, 25 August 2013

Just Being Human

So now you are a fully fledged medium. Your Facebook list has become the who’s who of Theso Arthur Findley Spiritual College with some of your peers now adorning a double barrelled surname of “spiritual medium”, and those mentors who you once regarded as near the lofty heights of the Great Spirit are now classed as fellow friends.  Your bookshelves that were once laced with fantasy smattered with the odd mills and boon, now look like the Mind, Body and Spirit section of Waterstones, together with an extensive unused tarot card collection.  The once uninteresting wardrobe now houses a number of rainbow outfits which would look good at a fairy convention and highlight the many colours you are.  Now, when the odd spirit pops in uninvited when you are watching corrie because they are worried about little Joey who has fallen out with dad or Burt who is dancing on the edge of the spirit world, it is just a mediums way of life.  But now you have acquired the status and the notoriety, is it all it is cracked up to be?

As a developing medium, and I will always call myself a developing medium however long I am working with spirit, you will have times when you have to put down your crystal ball and just live your life and be the human you are.  All is not always well living in the shadows of the realm of forever and even knowing that you have spirit and your belief to support you does not make you suddenly immune to living life.

The last year for me has been one of those years. A lot of starting and not finishing with a lot of where life has become so physical that much of my spiritual work has been put on hold.  I have just had to be.    Even finding time to write my blog has been lost as the big hobnailed size nine boots of life stomp through my world.  So I have lived life day by day, but, like bubbles in a shaken champagne bottle, I have had little bits of the writing monster burst from me and splash over my facebook page as a reminder that, like spirit, the soul inside is still there waiting.

So I still write little things when the urge takes me.  My husband has learnt to recognise that I may suddenly become a bit quiet and, then as he wanders on to Facebook, he sees something rather wordy appear in my status as explanation for me being awol.

Recently a lovely medium friend, who is perhaps wiser than me, recommended to me to put my name at the end of my wordy posts on facebook. Not wanting to disagree with a clever friend, I did it a few times even surrounding it with a couple of pretty stars to justify why it was there.  It just didn’t feel right however much I wrote it or embellished it.  I wondered for a moment whether it was because I felt that there was something lacking in me or that I was ashamed of my words or that I didn’t want to own what I wrote.

When it came to it, it was simply one thing.  I wasn’t intending to post my work to the world in order to be a Guru, or to be some sage that has the answers to the universe and everything to a waiting audience.  I was posting because I was human and that I was also recognising that I was surrounded by other people who were just like me, and equally just as human, and trying to live their lives in the best way they could in many human ways.  It goes without saying that the last year has provided its emotional challenges. It has been hard for me and as my thoughts about it came to the surface, I was just writing it down because it was me just trying to exist through the mayhem of it all.

I have always written, so it is a natural expression for me but even some of the statuses I have put up have still made me look in amazement at them.  I know some of it is me, but I also know my friends in the spirit world are always with me, and maybe having the odd dabble at writing too.  The Spirit world is perhaps trying to upgrade their publicity department with modern ways of contacting the physical world -  facebook and twitter is the new Daily Spirit Times.

So I don’t feel the need to put my name to everything I write. If people on Facebook want to copy what I write, they will, whether my name is against it or not. Whether they wish to give the credit and thanks to me for my words or pass it off as their own, it is always still in their choice when they post it.  If they don’t, what does it matter? If something reaches out through them and others benefit then that is a good thing. If they resonated with my words, then surely those words are, in essence, their own too? Truth always lives inside the heart and the conscious mind can often be the last to find out an open secret.  Whichever way my words get out to the universe Spirit knows where they came from and, if indeed I am to be rewarded for my moments of humanity, it will come from somewhere.  It is not important.

Facebook is, however, a wonderful place to observe how people are living their lives. I have said many times that there are many of God’s PR agents writing their own version of war and peace.  There is so much out there telling you how you should or could live your life.  There are wonderful people like Eckhart Toll and Abraham Hicks, and every day you come across people posting somebody’s wisdom on facebook, either in a picture or in a verse. Plagiarism is alive and living on Facebook - let’s not tell the lawyers!  That being said, sometimes the energy of god, the universe, Great Spirit, the goddess or whoever steps out and touches you with a one liner of truth and you feel a profound connection to something so big that you know that something indefinable has occurred within you.  An epiphany which rocks your world, and from that moment you know you feel and think different.

However it comes, I am sure after all this spiritual growth that you can look back and see your journey and that you were one person once and you now fundamentally feel different now.  You, during your development, have been graduating from the school of life.  Now when you look at others you know and see the differences between you, and your connection to the Spirit World has added so much more to you, and it is who you are today. Whilst the innocent and ignorant remained sleeping, you woke and danced in the Garden of Eden and ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge. What is known cannot be unknown and you are now running hooky from human life along the edge of the earth.  You have vaulted from being mere human to spiritual being. Congratulations!

And what’s this to do with achieving the dizzy heights of being a working spiritual medium?

It has everything to do with it.   Spirit and the spirit world are always around us, even when you are feeling somewhat remote or disconnected from them.  Many mediums go through times when they still have to grow as a spirit themselves, even if they are a guru, a teacher, or a person who other people aspire to.  You can’t deny your humanity and just live chatting to spirit people, disconnecting with life and your physical being.  Being a medium doesn’t grant you a pass to the top of the class just because you can talk to dead people, a host of angels, or ascended masters. Ok chatting directly to god might make you a little bit important!

The biggest thing you will learn as being a medium is that despite knowing you are a spirit inside a physical body, you still have to live a physical life and allow human everyday things to exist in your life.  You will never stop developing as a medium and you also never stop growing as a human either.

Through my own long list of facebook friends, I see fellow mediums trying to live life, some living it uncomfortably, some questioning their own spiritual ability, some accepting, some wondering why, some content at where they are in life, some frustrated, others chasing rainbows and believing that their purpose is to be more than they are.  Many believe they are trying to be the spiritual being they are, but really in essence they are being terribly human in their response, not spirit.  You do not need to try to be something which you are already and apart from being human,  you are a soul, and you are spirit.

I often hear many mediums telling me that working for Spirit is the sole reason why they have come to earth, or that they are earth angels and that they are only here to do the Great Spirits or Gods work. Some mediums exhaust themselves every waking moment working for Spirit.  Others meditating for hours and hours a day to strengthen their connection and thinking it is the only way for them to be worthy of the connection.  Week in and week out they attend circles, workshops and the Arthur Findley College to get attain the  level of Spiritual Medium. Pushing themselves harder and harder.  Sadly, through working with Spirit, many spiritual workers become less connected with the physical world, their children and families losing them to communicating with Spirit. A mother, father, daughter, son, best friend not fully present in their lives, not gone to spirit, but almost as much so with the loved ones missing them.  It is truly admirable to be so dedicated, to work so hard and to offer so much of yourself to one thing. I have been there. I have felt it the pull.  I love working with spirit and connecting to that light energy of love. I love the Arthur Findley College, it is a wonderful place and I do recommend any spiritual worker should go there. Working with Spirit is very addictive and once you feel the energy and the connection, you miss it. Also,  working with Spirit feels so much easier than working with human beings with the heavy and darkness that exists in the human world.  Meanwhile Gods beautiful and colourful human world grows grey as you continually live with Spirit.  Is this really what we are supposed to be doing?

It is true the call to work with Spirit can be strong. The Spirit world want ambassadors for spirit to pass on their message of our continuing existence. They are always very pleased to work with us and, if it is something that we chose before we came to the earthly life or chose later to do, they do their best to help us tune in to them.  They rejoice in our remembrance of them and enjoy our questions, our dedication to working with them. But, to stop enjoying living our physical lives, to disconnect ourselves from life, from  our loved ones who lives with us in the physical world?  No, that is not what they expect or what was agreed in the contract of working with them.   They didn’t get you to sign a contract with them in blood. They are not the Devil following you around waving a toasting fork at you shouting that you will rot in hell if you stop working with them for a while and enjoy your life.  You chose it wilfully and equally can unchoose it.

I know this is a matter of what you personally  believe as to what the Spirit world looks like, but consider this.  You arrive in the Spirit world greeted by your guide, your soul group, your family and they ask what your experience of life was.  How did you grow, what did you directly experience, and what did you learn by being human?  Did you grasp every opportunity you were offered? If you believe in soul groups and the contracts you had with them, what would your fellow soul friends say? 

This is not an answer for the human mind to find an opportunity to whip itself - remember god is love, spirit is love….and they would be gentle and loving in their answer. But what would you think, as your higher self, when you are looking and reviewing your life in the Akashic records?

The spiritual influence and our recognition that we are more than what we are strongly pushes us forward to be better as people. It is all over spiritual life to be a better spirit or person.   It is a good thing to be conscious and aware but sometimes the love of spirit makes the human part of us feel unworthy and less, and we strive harder to be what we think we should be rather than being who we are, Human.   In the world of spirit we are part of something beyond our current human comprehension. We resonate to a different vibration that our human physical body cannot spin to and the awareness we feel here is a drop from an ocean too big to be seen.  The unknown, and what we fear, our mind is always trying to logically make sense of, to reassure our subconscious of our being.  It is so terribly human of us.

It is not about stopping being a medium and not trying to be better and improve yourself. But about ensuring that we do not allow the human part of us to push us so hard and so much more than Spirit is actually doing.  When you arrive home in the Spirit world, working with spirit cannot be the reason why you did not experience your human existence to the full.  Our Guides understand our human qualities, are loving and patient and know that we are hungry for knowledge of who we really are, and to be what we can be. They are guiding us through the experience as interactive as they can.  You would not ask a blind man to look and see the beautiful vista, but describe it to him and help him touch it and hope that he enjoys the experience of the connection you have assisted him with.  Even if the blind man, by miracle managed to see it, he would still perhaps not see the same thing as you would be seeing as he is seeing through his eyes, not yours.  As human we are purposely blind to the Spirit world to aide our physical experience. It limits us in the interaction.

So Spirit recognises that there are times which we will not see what they see, not know what they know, and not hear what they hear, and that they can only guide us, and not make our life their journey or experience.  What we feel is totally down to us, and they are guided by us in that connection. They want us to excel at being human, and they have agreed to be with us every step of the way to encourage us through our journey in the physical world to grasp the experience of life.  They also have to allow us to interact with our experience in our own way, allow our free will to take us on the journey of our lives, allowing us to fly in any direction we want to gain the biggest experience to bring home to the spirit world.  In the many moments of now that they have loved and worked with us, even when we were unaware of spirit, they always have known and seen the bigger picture.  They do not expect us to be more than who we are as they already know and love us as whom and what we are. It’s just us human’s who don’t. It is all part of being human and our development.  

Yes, not everyone will be aware of Spirit in their human life time, but that does not make them less, just a choice that has been made to hear a different drum and to dance to a different tune.  It doesn’t make them less capable than us, and can even sometime make them even more connected to both spirit and the physical world more than us, as spirit is still influencing and working with them.  Truly being a medium does not lift you to the level of a god above other humans!

The beauty of being a medium is that we learn that we can rely on the fact that Spirit guides and helps us, as that awareness of the two-way link we have always gives us the opportunity of being able to ask for their view. But, however, they will not, and cannot, give us the answers that we need to grow as human and spirit, but will always facilitate to help us explore and expand our understanding and knowledge.

Recently, in my quiet connection with Spirit, they helped me understand certain aspects I was questioning in my recent life challenges.  It is not a point of sympathy, and I am not asking for a chorus of wailing (but thank you anyway if you are so inclined) but we all have to go through the cycle of life with our parents. It is the way of nature being born to physically die.  Death knocks on our door in many ways, and sometimes it can be a cruel slow process of painful watching and waiting of what you know is inevitable, and when any person is face with their mortality or mortality of their loved ones, even a talking to dead people worker, the magic can fall out of life and the stress of living volume button gets turned up a few notches. It has been that type of year. It is normal though.  Whilst living my human experience, I recognised that I needed some assistance through it and so asked for it.  First it came through a fabulous lady called Julia, who shared some lovely ways of thinking and discussions about universal law. And secondly, through a book arriving in my space “Butterflies are free to fly” by Stephan Davis. (free on kindle download through Amazon).

After talking with Julia, and me being blonde with several brain cells on a permanent holiday, I decided to expand my knowledge on the universal laws, not just law of attraction, but the real scientific view against the spiritual view.  As usual my lovely spirit guides (through my best friend Google) led me to this book which for a while did rock my world quite profoundly, so much so that I shared it with some of spiritual best friends.

So what is so great about this book, apart from the big blue butterfly on its cover? It does tell you it is a very radical book in its thought processes. The first thing I will say is that the book is written by a guy who used to be highly active in the scientologist movement.  However, it is an interesting book and makes good use of metaphor and analogies to explain it's point.  It specifically highlights that we humans live reality to that we can only directly see and what is in our experience and perception of it. Plato, as well as having a mention, would have loved it.  I won’t be a plot spoiler, as I think it is a book everyone should read as it is has many truths, much wisdom, and other points to share that will help add colour to anyone’s thought processes and knowledge, even if they throw out the way of thinking.  The book has a point of view some would argue against and that may even bring some spiritual warriors to draw passionate “S” words at dawn, particularly as it challenges spiritual thinking.

For me, though, it reminded me why I thought the way I did, and of the strong belief I have always had since a young child.  It made me think and consider many points of my belief. It rang question after question in my heart, as I could not argue with some of the mind blowing elements of wisdom and truth in some of his view points. It was clear, though, that his much of his belief was deeply ground in his own personal experience, with elements which I could not resonate with because of how and what I believe.  There were several interesting viewpoints about our lives being governed by an “Infinite one”, and for those who have read it, or do intend to read it, I still like to refer to my infinite one as being my higher self….and I couldn’t resist and went through the door!  Whether it was the one intended is another point altogether!

The one big point which shouted out of the book was that life is there for us to experience, and most of all, that we should enjoy the experience.  We may all seek a purpose, but in truth our purpose is to experience life and to “feel” it to the very core of our soul, higher self, or as in the book, infinite one.  What that experience is, I think, is for us to choose…and perhaps guided by our higher self or infinite one to the experience it directs.  Even when life is uncomfortable, like this last year has been for me, I recognise I have chosen it to be that way somewhere along the line by how I have interacted with it.   I can fight it, challenge it, but it will still make it as uncomfortable as it can be as I am resisting the experience and it will continue to be that way whilst I resist.  After having what seems a very long year, the saying is true that what you resist persists.  

So there you are, the Devil is merrily dancing, teasing and prodding you with his fork, and because he is a little sadistic little so and so, he doesn’t have it in his ability to go away politely when you keep telling him you are not enjoying the experience. He though is gleefully ignoring you as he is enjoying every second of his experience of watching you squirm uncomfortably and shaking in your boots, providing him with the emotion and drama he is hungrily looking for.  He is more likely going to dance and jump around you revelling in your fear and discomfort with the hope and anticipation of you giving him more. He could be in for a surprise, as the moment you accept and smile back accepting the experience of him dancing, it becomes no fun and no longer is he getting the emotion and drama he was being fed by you, as you are no longer resisting but engaging in and enjoying the experience. Suddenly the pain and prodding you were experiencing stops.

Some years ago during my recruitment agency work, there was a lady who I had to go and discuss business with.  She was very professional, and cheerful lady, but I couldn’t help noticing that she had a habit of saying thank you before speaking back, or just generally sliding it in the conversation in response to my comments.  At the time I thought it strange, but I left feeling that I had missed some important point, as well thinking that I had met a very enlightened soul that day. 

My recent experience through the book and my friend Julia is that life is for feeling and enjoying. Every experience you go though is to be appreciated, be it negative or positive. It’s not about being grateful and constantly saying thank you, but appreciating every experience that comes into your space by acknowledging your feeling of it and the growth it is trying to bring. 

Ok, you may think it strange, but give it a go – just beware of the too many loud thank you’s; people may think it’s a tick.

In that appreciation and acknowledgment of it, you can connect to an experience you wish to enjoy, rather than existing in an experience you do not.  Saying thank you, or just appreciating the experience, allows acceptance (a mental yes) to the awareness of truth to resonate and interact with you about the experience.  It brings learning, nullifies any resistance, and brings the opportunity of conscious change to your experience.
So now when I am having a challenging moment, I try to remember that I am experiencing life I have chosen, and say thank you.  Whether it is to my higher self, my guides or infinite one, as in the book, is immaterial.  Those who read the book may appreciate the viewpoint even more though.  

Spirit always like to show they have a hand in things – and in confirmation of this, I now strangely work for an organisation called infinite – and weirdly for a week or two I had to daily type a password of “infinite1” to log into a local network.  It still baffles me that I do that, but synchronicity and my spirit guides are truly amazing…and I thank them for the experience!

Another important point of wisdom, that my lovely friend Julia gave was to remind me that everyone has the right to be an individual source of the divine, be their own path, their own drama.  It is their life, their reality, their experience…and no one is either right, or wrong, despite what we have always been told as children.  Both right and wrong exist in the universe, and when you make a right, then the natural law of polarity means that it’s polar opposite of wrong always exists somewhere in the situation, whether it is someone feeling it or being it, and vice versa with wrong and right.  It is like a coin, one side facing up, and other down, and seeing the facing up side as the right side.  You only need to reverse it, and the other side now is the right side where in reality they both exist and it is always your perception of it which makes it right or wrong.  By recognition of both sides and accepting that they both exist, you become neither up nor down, right or wrong, but neutral.

Knowledge and hindsight is a wonderful thing though and I can see when I look back as to how many times I have fought and resisted this past year, what my heart already knew. Although the uncomfortable journey I have been experiencing this past year has been as a result of my own reaction to loved ones own fight with their experience of life and health challenges, I appreciate more now  that the resistance I gave to accepting the experience was futile and unproductive, as it is like trying to stop the world from turning round.  I see now how my humanity shouting at me protesting at its reality, and my spiritual connection trying to remind me of the bigger picture.

You cannot avoid being human. It is what you physically are. By nature humans measures the world in polarity. We are emotionally motivated by feeling ok, and not ok, right and wrong, Yes or No, and the internal battle which can be created by the polarity can affect our daily lives and our decisions. Living up to our own expectations, perceived other’s people’s expectations and how we interact with our life time experiences is what makes our reality and our final experience.   Often it can be put upon us like a cloak we believe we should wear, forgetting that it may not be ours to put on, as we have in truth just allowed ourselves to get dragged into a moment of dressing up in somebody else’s clothes, and then trying to look good in it and feeling unhappy as a result.  The point is, even unconsciously, you made the choice of wearing the cloak…and that goes for every experience you have had – you made the choice to be there.  We are all supporting actors in the drama of other people’s lives, and so are they when we are the lead.  Often, entering into others experiences and making their drama our drama, and even through the love of Spirit we can adopt the worlds drama as our own.  If you are not enjoying it, resisting the experience, then how about turning it on its head, like the coin? Sometimes you have to take consciously take off the cloak and look in the wardrobe for the one you want to wear. 

You might be in someone else’s wardrobe but you don’t have to put their cloak on.  You can appreciate it without entering into the direct experience of feeling it.  It is their right to be in their own experience, it is their reality, made by their own interaction with their experience.  A good question to ask when you think you may have wandered into someone else’s experience is this my truth?  If you feel your heart tightening or constricting, or some resistance to the idea – it is clearly telling you that something is amiss and perhaps it is not what you should be doing.

As you develop as a medium, you will have many moments when you are reminded that you are human. To work well with the spirit world, it is important to ensure there is the balance of the physical and spiritual in your life.  We are all Alice’s in Wonderland. Sometimes you may tip too much one way, and fall down the hole and find yourself sitting at the Mad Hatter’s tea party or in front of the Queen of hearts.  It is normal and natural to experience this life and when you are there don’t resist it, feel the experience you are in. Don’t try to make yourself fit in a box that is not designed for you. Love working with Spirit, and by all means acquire new knowledge, grow spiritually.  But don’t work so hard to just be, when the only thing you need to be in this life is a happy you.  This is the life you chose and are still choosing.

So be how you really are. Enter into and engage with the experience of living, feel your life, feel the world around you.  Love being human and spirit on a journey as one sharing an amazing experience.  

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